Holy crap — have I not posted a cocktail recipe since April?! WTH is wrong with me? ‘Kay, so it’s not Tuesday, but this is an emergency. Lovely Celia, the rustbelt’s finest flamethrower, brought it to my attention that I have never posted my mojito recipe. Double WTH. Triple WTF. Talk about an epic oversight. Alrighty then.

Mojito — 1 shot Bacardi light rum — 1 fistful mint leaves — 1 lime — soda water — 1-2 sugar cubes, or preferably just simple syrup — equipment: muddler In a highball (tall) glass, muddle the mint, sugar and some rum. Muddle with some vigor; bartenders get buff for a reason. It’s very important to have the rum in there to help leech out the mint oil. Squeeze a few lime wedges into it and toss in the wedges. Add ice. Add the rest of the rum. Fill to top with soda water. With a long spoon, draw the ingredients up from the bottom and stir. Garnish with a fresh mint sprig or lime wedge on the rim. Best practices – Use simple syrup, not cubes. You’ll get a smoother product. It’s easy to make: just boil water with sugar and let it cool. – Wet the lip of the glass with lime. – If you want a duskier, more mysterious look: float a bit of dark rum on top when you’re done. – Grow your own mint. It’s insanely easy — the stuff grows aggressively even in the most neglectful gardener’s flowerbox. You’ll look like a bad-ass and avoid trips to Safeway for their spendy sad wilted stems. – If you are wanting to serve this in a delicate glass that can’t withstand yer muddlin’, do it with a mortar and pestle then make sure to rinse with rum and pour it into your drink. The oil sticks to the side. Must. Not. Waste. – Who likes to drink these alone? Just losers. Need to serve a crowd but don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen all night while people mess with your iPod party mix? Muddle/combine all the ingredients — except the soda water — in a giant bowl. Put a ladle in it. Put ice and soda water next to it. Let people mix their own. Worst practices – Not muddling. Boo hiss. It will not be minty. – Using a blender to manage your mint. You will just end up with bitter green mash. It’s all about the bruising. Don’t be lazy. – Not leaving the mint leaves in the drink. Bad. – Using anything off this mojito CHEATER site. – Oversugaring. Unfortunately this happens a lot commercially. Mint fun fact: My people call it yerbabuena. That means “good grass”. Spanish colonists of San Francisco called it Yerba Buena. Ergo, San Francisco = Mint. Yay!